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That way they can **BOTH** watch NASCAR. F*ck NASCAR! NASCAR. Why are stories about Nascars so satisfying? 50. Q: What is Kevin Harvicks favorite color? To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. My 35-year boycott of Ferrari and Lamborghini is still going strong! What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars? Non-athletic-sport-centered-around-rednecks 7. Wrong. Q: How can you tell when Mark Martin is going to say something intelligent? A: At Any NASCAR Event Why dont cars work after you change their wheels?Because they are retired. Not surprisingly, one of the worst pileups occurs. Why is NASCAR a white dominated sport? But how will drivers know theyve entered the last lap of the race? Exactly, it wasn't supposed to be there anyway. Q: What is the worst thing about 5 Jeff Gordon Fans going over a cliff in a Monte Carlo? 38. Haha. Bobby says, "No, the cord was fine, but what the hell is a "pinata?" Q: How can you tell when a nascar fan is watching a Formula One race? NASCAR is officially canceled How can you tell if a car is from Switzerland?It remains in neutral. And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers, "You Are So Beaut-OHGOD! Q: Why did NASCAR outlaw the Polish victory lap? In nascar they wear their sponsors on their shirts. Just imagine how unfair it would be for a horse in NASCAR. Iona. Site Design by, Hear A Myriad of Melodies on Dot Allisons Dreamy New Single and Lyric Video Can You Hear Nature Sing? Out Today, From Music to Comics, Tommy Siegels Creativity Knows No Limits, We Can All Empathize Easier With Music: Composer and Musician Genevieve Vincent Talks About The Power of Music, Try Some New Medicine With Mondo Cozmo The Blast Interview, Spice Girls + Indie Rock: Meet The Only Ocean and Their Bandleader Wesley Hill, Court Rules that Stairway to Heaven is an Original by Led Zeppelin, "New Girl" - Clavado En Un Bar (3.11) episode review, The Challenges of Bringing Stories to Life: Film, Television, and Podcast Storytellers Share Their Advice for Overcoming Creative Roadblocks at WonderCon, Freezing Water and Intense Fight Scenes: Actress Nelita Villezon Shares Her Experiences Working on Snapchats Original Series, Breakwater. Why couldnt the frog find where he parked his car?Hed been toad. By doing so it creates people with an unfair advantage when it comes to competition. When you get hit by a guitar truck, is it a fender-bender? Have the scanner open so all the cars can talk just for safety, and then have him at the wheel with his copilot and open scanner. You are condemned to spend the rest of eternity in the drivers seat of this car!" Then he heard the voice of the Devil saying: Again, Jeff misses him. What is the worst race in America? Almirola by Morning 7. Why did the electric car go to court?It was charged with battery. What do Nascar and a Kinko's dumpster have in common? I stopped to pick up a hitchhiker.Turns out he was just telling me he approved of my driving. Jimmie Johnson's ( @JimmieJohnson) tweet from 1:25pm EDT on Tuesday, September 27th, 2022: @Alex_Bowman @WorldofOutlaws @allyracing I understand that, without my agreement, @Alex_Bowman has put out a Tweet this afternoon that I am driving for him next year. Anniversary Present The Gran Purr-ismo. 3. What kind of vehicle does a chicken drive?A coop. He drove a Honda, but he didn't say much about it. What do you get when you put a car and a pet together?Carpet. A: Non-Athletic Sport Centered Around Rednecks Q: If Robert Pressley, John Andretti and Geoff Bodine were in a boat and the Boat Sinks, Who Knock, knock! What does NASCAR stand for? "Oh Nissan!". 31. A: At Any NASCAR Event. Why didn't the two Alfa Romeo owners say hi to each other when they met at the bar?Because they saw each other at the mechanic's earlier that day. Thank you for taking the time to share your feedback with us! 26. @keyframes _1tIZttmhLdrIGrB-6VvZcT{0%{opacity:0}to{opacity:1}}._3uK2I0hi3JFTKnMUFHD2Pd,.HQ2VJViRjokXpRbJzPvvc{--infoTextTooltip-overflow-left:0px;font-size:12px;font-weight:500;line-height:16px;padding:3px 9px;position:absolute;border-radius:4px;margin-top:-6px;background:#000;color:#fff;animation:_1tIZttmhLdrIGrB-6VvZcT .5s step-end;z-index:100;white-space:pre-wrap}._3uK2I0hi3JFTKnMUFHD2Pd:after,.HQ2VJViRjokXpRbJzPvvc:after{content:"";position:absolute;top:100%;left:calc(50% - 4px - var(--infoTextTooltip-overflow-left));width:0;height:0;border-top:3px solid #000;border-left:4px solid transparent;border-right:4px solid transparent}._3uK2I0hi3JFTKnMUFHD2Pd{margin-top:6px}._3uK2I0hi3JFTKnMUFHD2Pd:after{border-bottom:3px solid #000;border-top:none;bottom:100%;top:auto} Is it possible to watch NASCAR without a TV? Oh, and that is at zero RPM. 13. .s5ap8yh1b4ZfwxvHizW3f{color:var(--newCommunityTheme-metaText);padding-top:5px}.s5ap8yh1b4ZfwxvHizW3f._19JhaP1slDQqu2XgT3vVS0{color:#ea0027} 27. What's worse than raining cats and dogs?Hailing taxis! NASCAR isnt always just about the race. (Exception with Baku 2017). After all, there's one thing we all have in common - we all believe we are excellent drivers. Despite this, a thread by Dirt Track Digest shared some of the most hilarious dirt track racing tips to ease anxious fans, officials and drivers. Danica's Pole Position 8. The priest replied, "No.I think I'll just wait for the police." That sports science segment has changed enough people's minds. 12. Yeah; I'm racist 61. If I owned a DeLorean, I would probably only drive it from time to time. How would you rate the quality of the article? The image that comes to mind is probably that of a brutish, beer guzzling, loud mouth, hairy, unwashed, unshaven, redneck And her husband. That dog is amazing!! 40. If you wanna go offroading, take a Land Rover. What do you call the world's most badass sedan? Have I given you the tour of my estate yet?It is a Vauxhall. But I hate NASCAR, What did Michael Jackson have in common with a second-place NASCAR driver? This article was originally published on Dec. 6, 2019, A Mom's Hilarious Review Of Her Dad Watching Her Son Is Going Viral, A Man Went Viral For Refusing To Give Up His Spot On A Ride To A Crying Child. 8. What is the car dealership in Star Wars called?The Mazda-lorian. Non Athletic Sports Centered Around Rednecks, 16. 14. The mechanic says, "Good trade, sir." He could not warm up. Wanted: A man who has been stealing wheels from police cars.Police are working tirelessly to catch him. 8. Whats the best pickup line?Probably Chevys. After she ordered her drink she turned to "Superman" and asked him, "Are you a real race car driver?" A: A Good Start. Delighted, Dale Earnhardt, taking in the sight of this beautiful piece of Automaking Delight, Shiney and powerful this car is made to run like hell. 63. When do we want them? A: They Both Blow Rods What does the car brand FIAT stand for?Fix-It Again Tomorrow. To which he replied, "Well, ma'am I have spent my whole life on the track, testing chassis, testing engines,testing tires, winning races and I even won the NASCAR Sprint Cup." The nascar driver can actually finish a race. Well, Jeff made him go up to the farm house and apologize. ", As soon as the vehicle rolled into the pitstop, the jack said? What do tornados say to race cars? Q: What don't drivers eat before a big race? Have a look at the top 10 funniest race car jokes for fans. When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried and said that they also beat him. Thinking The second boy says, "I'd like a 4 wheeler so I can Go out mudbogging out behind my house" Gordon says, "I'll get you the best Four Wheeler With all the safety Features and I'll have someone teach you how to drive it safely." After discovering it's just a human traffic ring. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZkKKMI9laIU. They get exhaust-ed. "What?" Chastain Your Seat Belts 3. Q: Why Do Rednecks Do It Doggy Style? Theyre both filled with white trash. These are genuine Labrador Retrievers. 6. A: Caution Flag Yellow, 57. They both came in a little behind. Skip to content. points 0. status. Saimonas is a list curator at Bored Panda with BA in Multimedia. There are two types of people in this world, those who drive and those who exploit those What is a lacrosse players favorite type of car? How do NASCAR drivers get to the track? Wait a second, you're not handicapped, You don't need a Wheelchair." The police were called to a NASCAR event when belligerent fans became violent after being asked to remove the Confederate flags they had brought to the event. For the love of motorsports, dedicated NASCAR and F1 fans of all ages splurge on racing merchandise, including race car-inspired beds, apparel and home decor. Whats the difference between a Ferrari and six trash bags full of recyclable cans? If you ever feel like your job has no purpose, always remember that there is someone who is installing a turn signal in a BMW. In the spirit of the intersection of these two events, we're offering you a Violeta Lyskoit. ._1QwShihKKlyRXyQSlqYaWW{height:16px;width:16px;vertical-align:bottom}._2X6EB3ZhEeXCh1eIVA64XM{margin-left:3px}._1jNPl3YUk6zbpLWdjaJT1r{font-size:12px;font-weight:500;line-height:16px;border-radius:2px;display:inline-block;margin-right:5px;overflow:hidden;text-overflow:ellipsis;vertical-align:text-bottom;white-space:pre;word-break:normal;padding:0 4px}._1jNPl3YUk6zbpLWdjaJT1r._39BEcWjOlYi1QGcJil6-yl{padding:0}._2hSecp_zkPm_s5ddV2htoj{font-size:12px;font-weight:500;line-height:16px;border-radius:2px;display:inline-block;margin-right:5px;overflow:hidden;text-overflow:ellipsis;vertical-align:text-bottom;white-space:pre;word-break:normal;margin-left:0;padding:0 4px}._2hSecp_zkPm_s5ddV2htoj._39BEcWjOlYi1QGcJil6-yl{padding:0}._1wzhGvvafQFOWAyA157okr{font-size:12px;font-weight:500;line-height:16px;border-radius:2px;margin-right:5px;overflow:hidden;text-overflow:ellipsis;vertical-align:text-bottom;white-space:pre;word-break:normal;box-sizing:border-box;line-height:14px;padding:0 4px}._3BPVpMSn5b1vb1yTQuqCRH,._1wzhGvvafQFOWAyA157okr{display:inline-block;height:16px}._3BPVpMSn5b1vb1yTQuqCRH{background-color:var(--newRedditTheme-body);border-radius:50%;margin-left:5px;text-align:center;width:16px}._2cvySYWkqJfynvXFOpNc5L{height:10px;width:10px}.aJrgrewN9C8x1Fusdx4hh{padding:2px 8px}._1wj6zoMi6hRP5YhJ8nXWXE{font-size:14px;padding:7px 12px}._2VqfzH0dZ9dIl3XWNxs42y{border-radius:20px}._2VqfzH0dZ9dIl3XWNxs42y:hover{opacity:.85}._2VqfzH0dZ9dIl3XWNxs42y:active{transform:scale(.95)} 53. 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Luckily, Jeff finally catches him this time and says, "What happened? It has a top speed of 34, the electrics don't work, and the radio works but only plays the theme from "Hawaii Five-O" and you cant turn it off. I couldnt work out how to fasten my seatbelt. Here's another miracle. Why does Matthew McConaughey only watch NASCAR in a mirror? A: In case they get indy-gestion. In a tomato race, one tomato driver said to his competitor, ketch-up!