i feel guilty for kissing another guy i feel guilty for kissing another guy

But I don't see the need to borrow trouble by telling your boyfriend if you have learned your lesson and know you will never do something like that again. But you sounded like you were willing to take it farther with him,and risk it all. Own your truth- You did not expect to hear the REAL TRUTH and the RIGHT ADVICE. Did You Know Anxiety Can Enhance Our Relationships? Visit my website and follow me on Twitter @GuyWinch. My gf went to a house party and got really drunk, and apparently kissed a g My girlfriend got drunk and kissed another guy, 2 months later she got drunk and kissed a girl, HELP. It is the gateway to another feeling. You werent totally bombed out of your mind, so you realized what you did and you felt guilty about it. California coastal beeches will leave you saying -America not too shabby.. Can't take anything from South of France-doesn't everybody go there? Well, then, let me enlighten you. When you conclude that your guilt is sending you an incorrect message, label your guilt as a false alarm, ignore it as best you can and make a fresh . I rang the guy and said ' oh wow, so last night, that really happened, what the hell where we at? ' I'm so confused. I know it was wrong and I regret it all. Everyone is telling me not to say anything because it was so long ago and it never happened again, or will it ever. There's nothing wrong with feeling an attraction to another person when you're in a relationship. I can't get into his FB directly but I accessed his hotmail and read the notification. Or do I? Though somehow I think there might have been trouble in the marriage. Ashley Madison helped things along with extramarital affairs. (I bet many would not kiss & TELL -as it would only invite chaos in their marraiges). I totally regret my actions and cannot bear to tell my boyfriend. You have a number of choices in terms of how to deal with what happened. When we went to bed that night, I started crying because I realized what had happened and I felt confused and guilty all at the same time. What should I do. Updated January 27, 2023 by ReGain Editorial Team. As long as you are sincere about making this work, your punishment should be to bear this guilt. Just trying to keep the pot stirred,the fire burning. female Sincere apology if my assumption is wrong. (No, I'm very passionate about fidelity.) PostedNovember 9, 2014 LGBTYouTube stars Bria Kam and Chrissy Chambers (BriaAndChrissy) have released a videoexploring what its like for straight guys to kiss other men for the first time. Add your answer to this question! 4. I'm going to be the best wife I can be going forward. Not just what I did but the fact I work with this person and have to continue to work with him. [1] you didn't foresee and avoid being in that predicament. I guess kissing another when married, with or without the other knowing about it is a sore subject. I recently broke up with my boyfriend of 6 months and I feel so guilty. ;-)), Back too Ya My Sistah from another mother!! I can't stop playing it over again and again. Alcohol does not change that fact. That is what separates the women from the girls. I had had an argument with my fianc because I found a suspicious text from a woman , he became very mad . he set the standard of how he wished this relationship to be conducted in such scenarios yet you failed to follow it WHY did you?). Maybe she was experimenting or it was something shed thought about and wanted to see what it felt like. It's where the lips have been and where they're going. So your crop had already been carrying a blight, hadn't it. Now that you got drunk, you feel justified in kissing that person because you got drunk and couldnt help yourself. WORK. I think its interesting that you put in the innocent and the guilty kiss. If he forgave you, then it sounds like he accepted that it was a mistake, that you won't do it again and has moved on. To tell versus Not to tell (and everything that has a bearing). But the guilt is killing me. Just, why leave yourself open if you don't have to. reader, missbunbury+, writes (25 October 2005): A My thread is called Hurt and Confused. My libido is sharper when Im sober, at least if Im really attracted to a guy and have the love goggles on. Assistir Chelsea X Leeds - Ao Vivo Grtis HD sem travar, sem anncios. Can Humans Detect Text by AI Chatbot GPT? For the last few years we have been trying for a baby and are currently going through tests to try find out why it's not happening. (PS: These 'recent issues' of yours. Tico Franklin, now 40, faced the death . If you drink so much that you lose track of everything, then you already took the first step on a dangerous road. His imagination could go haywire over that one. Things do get out of our hand at times, now think. I wasn't there but news travelled fast and I knew about it through friends by the next morning. You came to your sences and stopped this from going any farther. Your boyfriend may love you so much that he believes you won't repeat the cheating ever again. The next time you saw your significant other you might have blurted out, I have a confession to make. I don't know why I need that so much, but I do. I work in hospitality, so I can't change departments, but I can change my shift pattern. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. My opinion, fwiw, is that what you did was not that bad. Good luck. If you are separated, you aren't doing anything wrong. Answer (1 of 7): As you have not mentioned your gender, i am assuming you are a girl. I love him so much and feel totally ashamed at what happened over the weekend in what was a drunken moment at at a party.I got drunk and kissed another boy. I'm trying - with the utmost seriousness and sincerity - to advise you to keep your relationship rap-sheet completely squeaky clean. :), Ah cawlled *you* 'sistah', dun't mean Ah iz wurn too, 'kayyy, shugah? You even said it indirectly in your story, when said you decided to get drunk. Turning off notifications, deleting messages, and hiding chat apps may all indicate secrecy. But I can't leave my job. I appreciate you taking the time to reply to me, I can see you feel very passionate about infidelity, however, on this occassion I won't be taking your advice. I was dumped.so why do *I* feel guilty? I was very drunk. The marriage itself trying to keep his father and the community happy, and just get my husband to consider the rest of the job force he worked in and the many his wants would affect with UAW seniority for a big three auto plant. Wow, you really do want a baby, don't you. I went out for drinks in town last night and got extremely drunk and kissed another man, it only lasted not even a few seconds but I feel so so so guilty and wish I could take it back. reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2007): A What you're doing might FEEL easier, but that's you making the mistake too many others make, which is paying heed only to the *short* term, meanwhile risking leaving that bud to grow unseen into a thorn bush Simone was telling a caller how satisfy his girlfriend. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. And as for our original subject, who knows maybe she told him. Years after my divorce the one thing that still makes me really angry is that my XH should have ended the marriage as thats what he wanted. Login first You can confess to your significant other and accept the consequences, knowing that you might hurt your partner by confessing. Some song came on and it was a soppy song and we were both singing along. But, I did find out that I was attracted to my piano teacher. Jam, your wife holds the cards. I'm going to keep my distance from my work colleague and I'm going to ensure nothing like this ever happens again. The 2 Most Psychologically Incisive Films of 2022, The Surprising Role of Empathy in Traumatic Bonding. but all of a sudden I feel REALLY angry. There is no earthly reason that your partner needs to know chapter and verse of every indiscretion you ever engaged in. Then he kissed me, and I kissed him back. You can keep quiet and resolve never to do this again. My husband always encouraged me to pursue music, and, when I told him that this guy wanted to give me advanced piano lessons, my husband was in favor of this. If a man or woman were genuine in asking for forgiveness. Then I ordered taxis, woke up the other girl and we left. My wife wants to leave because of this. She may say that. It was important to hear the argument for doing what is right. It's quick, easy, free and you don't have to leave your real name. Im more than competent at the piano myself, but this guy was amazing. (Ta-daaaa!) This. No, you don't. My piano instructor came over once a week, usually on a Saturday when my husband was home. You have been dating this guy for only two months and it's not serious yet. And he grabbed my waist!. Thankfully, he immediately and apologetically backed right off (which was when we woke this other woman and they both left), and, luckily, put his apologetic money where his mouth was by phoning me the very next day to say how stupid and guilt-wracked he felt, assuring me it would NEVER happen again so could I please forgive him and just forget it ever happened. I am not someone that cheats on people, I am just a nice lad who gets carried away in the moment when drunk. My piano teacher didnt behave like his normal, reserved self and he made suggestive comments to me. If it were me, I would contact her, & let her know that I didn't appreciate her actions. I like the soft smooth touch of a woman and her sexy smell while iam kissing her with passion, if there is a romantic connection it's even better. Scopes: Yes, the kids are the real victims. Then he kissed me, and I kissed him back. :-( Feel free to start a thread if you need to vent it all out.). By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. Team spirit is this: ;-D. Ahhhh you're back! Married woman slaps sleazebag's face and leaves. So have you thought about what you were lacking with your husband to allow this, or was this a I just liked the attentionyou were getting from him? You reap what you sow. What!! Now, four years later, I am feeling extreme guilt to the point that it is making me sick and consuming thoughts every minute of the day. Cell phones, texting, emails etc. She emailed him out of the Blue, and he proudly showed me both her smarmy email and his polite yet nonetheless "on yer bike!" I mean if a person can't rely on their own strength of character and self-discipline to stop them from crossing that line, they obviously NEED an outside deterrent. My girlfriend(Cintia), me and my best friends girlfriend (called Mercy). Tell your husband. Even despite it included you having to become whatever degree of a low-down doity adulterer. Spoiler alert: Not that different from kissing a girl, only they dont fancy them. If you kissed someone while you were drunk then perhaps you are worried about doing it again. I'm not going to let that or any insulting aspersions, subtle or otherwise, put me off. A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2006): Hey sweetie my Name is Jilian I have a boyfriend as well and we have been dating for 3 months, I have had past relationships that have gone on for 11 months, I have cheated on my past boyfriend andi felt so terrible andi was in the same situation as you are, sweetie i know how you feel. Buster was in law school Buster Murdaugh, left, and his girlfriend Brooklynn White watch a video clip from Buster's brother Paul's phone in the double murder trial of Alex Murdaugh at the Colleton . I merely stated from the above that lips are a part of foreplay. I wouldn't be able to sleep at night. Wife of 8 years straddled and flirted with my friend last night while drunk My Girlfriend Kissed Another Guy whilst Black-Out Drunk. Wouldn't you? It happened two days ago. :-)), SOULMATE: Meant as in the universe of sisterhood (wrongly) To award Biggest B*lls on the Block Award -comment never was to imply same race- so on behalf of the Academy I accept :), (Good stuff. A number of years ago, while I was still married to my late husband, I befriended a guy who was an ace pianist. We have only been seeing each other for the past two months and I dont want his mind racing with bad thoughts. For me infidelity is a deal breaker I don't care what the circumstances were. So, when he offered me whisky, I happily drank it until I was drunk as a skunk. I myself have had issues in the past months but I won't elaborate. So, you went to a party and everyone was drinking. Houston, well, whaddayaknow - I'M PREGNANT! And a stitch in time saves nine. Why stab your partner in the heart, just to see if the relationship will still survive? Y'know what it all boils down to the lips. The caller wasn't experienced (like me). In essence . Sometimes it doesnt help to tell your partner everything. A female friend of mine was staying at our house for the weekend. However one night a boy kissed me and I kissed him back. No, if it's sensible debate, based on *facts* rather than wishful thinking, that's fine. What? The Fora platform includes forum software by XenForo. Because you feel guilt and awful, that is already a potential secret wall that will build up between you and the one person in the world with whom you want to be a true closest friend. I love your stories, Foxie. stop any contact (outside of work) immediately. I always prefer to know if something is going on than find out about it later, or worse, never find out at all (the idea of this chills me). So this was me subconsciously- not *setting* the standard but showing my maintaining it as per our agreements over only having eyes for each other and always, ALWAYS being 100% honest with each other no matter WHAT. If he wants to keep her as a "friend", complete access is a must. Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended! Something like that changes almost everything in a marriage. Pointer much appreciated, though. Despite their passion during the kiss though, thestraight guys (quite predictably)all saythey still identified asstraight. If I could go back in time I would because my SO is truly the best person out there. I noticed him kinda touching my hand a bit but I didn't pull away. Kissed another man four years ago and NOW feeling guilty. If he is like me, its a choice. I was surprised by his reaction, but I shook my head and said it was nothing like that. And, of course, cheating always tends to increase during a recession. When my husband came home, he could tell right away that I had been drinking. Oh no worries soulmate, yes we do miss you We'll talk tomorrow. You have been dating this guy for only two months and it's not serious yet. (Y)), Hey its really grtt to hear tht u really care n lot of emotion for ur hubbyv only come to kno abt our loyalty only when things like this happens.u kissed him thn u realised that u hv done mistake bcoz u really love ur hubby n dnt want to cheat him.but since commuting mistakes is a part of human nature n being human it happened but determined urself for not to continue or commit such mistake is the real proof of being loyal. Now then,you and hubby should do some summer travel. Allow me show you for future ref what someone who hates feeling guilty looks like: The last person you should be talking to about your feelings of guilt is your partner. As far as crossed purposes,hmmmmmmmm not following you. I really have a problem believing but forgave her and weve been together another 20 yrs now and have 15 grand children hasnt ever really bothered me but about 3 yrs ago it hit me like of bolt of lightning out of nowhere and I cant get that night out of my mind, keep obsessing over what they might have done and how they spent the 4 or 5 hours that they were together outside the venue that night. He went on to tell me that he kissed another woman and he had to tell me, he couldn't keep it a secret from me. Apologize to your SO and tell him that you love him and only him. 3. 8=) ) End of story. Whoops. And yes I do still believe either directly or indirectly, mouth to mouth, tongue swapping French kissing caressing lead to sex. Its hard to know what to say, especially if youre fuzzy about what happened. What would people say if she'd slept with someone else? I kissed another girl while black out drunk, dont remember a thing. Even so, you might find that you are still attracted to other people. It's wonderful that you even wanted to kiss someone! Tl;dr: why do I feel guilty after ending things with a guy who grabbed my ass during our first kiss? Take action instead of ruminating in guilt. Oh yes he has cried a help of a lot. I didnt tell him. HIKARI, you can't take up an obsolete thread as your own, no matter any similarities, so if you want feedback and advice it's best to start a new one (and copy and paste that post into it as your opening post), okay? I stopped and said I couldn't kiss him anymore cause I was dating someone I really liked Am I a terrible person? That is what separates the women from the girls. We are together 12 years altogether and although I had boyfriends before him, it was never serious, and he is the only man I've ever slept with. I agree with Vale that the best thing you can do is talk to Cintia about what happened and tell her that seeing her kissing Mercy upset you. I agree. Your guilt is your punishment. What did she say? Free weekly email, Insta, and more - > https://linktr.ee/monogamish_me. With the other woman just across the room! 3. We kissed for maybe 5 minutes, or maybe less, I don't know. Please help me. We lived in a small town at the time, and it felt like avoiding this girl was nearly impossible. To be honest, my stomach is sick with the thoughts of the whole thing. However, if you kissed someone whom you liked or had a crush on while you were drunk, my opinion is that you cheated. When you're in a long-term relationship, it's normal to have a little crush on someone other than your partner. The planet won't stop revolving around the Sun if you don't tell him. Well you need to figure that out and fast. I wish I told my wife, but she found out because in my browsing history I had searched should I tell my wife I kissed a girl when drunk. I'm 44 years old and I've been dating a 24 year old for 5 months. You kissed a guy - Possibly unforgivable. When I was in college, I cheated on a bf while I was drunk not because I was drunk, but because I was presented with the opportunity and I wanted wanted to do it. "and though he immediately pulled away". Im guessing that theres a good chance you would have gone all the way if the piano teacher had gone for it. He deserves to know. The Bedford man accused of killing another after an argument April 24, 2021, pleaded guilty Friday to third-degree murder, his attorney Dan Kiss said. But I do have to state it or I'm failing to do this role properly as well as my innate compulsion to be unwaveringly socially and morally responsible - meaning, if you don't want to respond, don't. Yup. I was very drunk. But you can control whether you nurture the crush or acknowledge it and move on. Why would you want to do that? Everyone makes mistakes and it's how you deal with them afterwards that is the most important thing. One of the best ways is to offer effective apologies. For what possible reason? (although, I'm not sure how this counts as a debate if you and I are in total agreement, lol). (That'll do me nicely! So what do you think? When I woke up yesterday I still felt drunk but the reality of what happened hit me like a tonne of bricks. If you don't figure this out OP, it will happen again. If you think that straight guys are too macho to experiment with same-sex kissing, then yourewrong. Lets get down to the basics here. Sorry, you two, I'm not ignoring you, just super-super-busy at the mo. If the reaction is strong, then maybe dont say anything. Way to make someone who, already understands and feels terrible guilt for what they've done, feel chronically worse. Arun, I agree with everything you said here because I was guilty of kissing a guy I liked when I was drunk, knowing that I liked him and wanted to see how much.". instead of: I know true remorse when I see it. I put a blanket over her and sat back down next to the man. And for science-based tips for managing guilt, check out my book, Emotional First Aid. NOT telling your partner is not protecting your partner and your marriage, it's self-protection against having to do the work called, Atonement, so you can ignore likeminded proponents whose choice from the excuses menu is that (yawn) telling your partner is a selfish act geared towards offloading some of the guilt when actually, perfectly logically, if the marriage is half theirs then so is the responsibility over the fact it degenerated to that point in the first place (excluding the choice-of-unilateral-action part, obviously)because that's how it works. Because your significant other doesnt fully believe that you just kissed this person because you were intoxicated. My husband went ballistic and said, I just knew something like this was going to happen. Try to let it go and forgive yourself. I kissed another guy when drunk but can't remember?! Psychology Today 2023 Sussex Publishers, LLC, Psychology and the Mystery of the "Poisoned" Schoolgirls. Keep it to yourself. When we got there the drinks flowed again , and more laughter and story telling. I feel like I like myself down and my husband down. I speak from experience when I say that when that intimacy starts to die, it can be the start of the end. This guy wouldnt take money from me (I should have seen this as a Red Flag, but didnt), so I bought him opera scores in order to compensate him for his time and expertise. I have never done anything like this before and truly would never again. Being married is something that can be quite complicated at times. As for this one, I think it's safe to say it's run its course for now. I reassured my husband that this would never happen again and that I was sorry. Please leave me a comment. She confessed to loving the experience and enjoyed the thrill knowing she had her husbands permission and he was watching her. Hello, TheBestAdvice: Im glad you thought my post was intelligent and that you could relate to it. I also could not fathom if you were ACTUALLY being serious or just having a laugh at her expense..alone in your tracky bottoms in your living room. And I have never cheated myself. When I needed a dresser picked up from a furniture store, he offered to take me to the store and bring the furniture home in his pick up truck. Like stateside, maybe southern California or San Diego? You're denying him that right and being selfish. You might come to the conclusion that something is lacking in your primary relationship, and you might decide to break up with your partner and pursue the person whom you kissed while drunk. I've noticed that other threads here haven't lasted very long. I felt a mixture of excitement and flattery and nerves. I was drunk but that is no excuse. You wanna tell your husband? I know I cheated for sure, and thats why I had to confess to my husband that I did it. In fact, you dont even have to tell your partner what you did because it was an innocent kiss. He said I was a person and offered to ride me home. But maybe I should have My thoughts are that he has been persuing her. When the night was over one of the women said we could go back to hers for drinks, and I was happy to go. If you need help or advice, you can ask Yin & Yang. Youre not homosexual until youre actually attracted to dudes., MORE : Bella Thorne reveals she is bisexual by kissing a girl in surprise Snapchat, MORE : These are the UKs most powerful LGBT people, Doctor explains why some men faint or get nosebleeds when they get an erection, This is the number of sexual partners the average Brit has had, Mum in coven manifests orgasms and schedules sex magick with husband, Post-pill clarity: I came off contraception and didnt fancy my partner anymore, How I Do It: Its empowering to have a guy over and pleasure myself afterwards, follow-up video of straight girls kissing other girls for the first time, Bella Thorne reveals she is bisexual by kissing a girl in surprise Snapchat, These are the UKs most powerful LGBT people, Do not sell or share my personal information. BTW lips are also very much a part of foreplay that's what I've read. Being an authentic partner and holding back secrets does not seem to go well together. The 5 Ingredients of an Effective Apology, The Power of a Dream: The Customs Inspector, 3 High-Risk Relationship Concerns No Couple Should Ignore, Eliminating Guilt, Shame, Regret, and Worry, Protecting the Innocent: The Cognitive Context of Guilt, How to Deal with Breakup Guilt in a Healthy Way. Dont tell me now that youre in love with him.. you are 18 or older, you read and agreed to the. I didnt blame the alcohol because I knew I had feelings for my piano teacher, and I didnt want to pretend the feelings didnt exist. One way to get over the guilt would be to prove to yourself that it will never happen again. See "The 5 Ingredients of an Effective Apology"; you probably miss at least two of them when you apologize. "I'm not sure if you are trying to be helpful, or just entertaining yourself with your responses." Houston, this team needs to rectify the causes or agree to seek outside help in it whilst this one team member needs to atone for having almost embarked on a hurtful and potentially damaging test unilaterally without her teammate's consent. 2023 FemaleFirst Ltd. all rights reserved. So she told him for starters to kiss her well you know where. So as far I doing it wrong I wouldn't know. "I really can't do this, I have no excuse, I'm married and he's lovely, it's not like I'm unhappy, he's a good person'" Remind her of your good points. I'm not married nor have I ever been married. Or does it mean something bigger in terms of my own relationship? New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. Kissing that that guy confirmed it. Since he felt there was an attraction with you two. What isn't, is Loyal Girl sorry to hear about your situation. Forget about it! What if she sabotages the relationship through guilt? Knowing what you value will help you build the most meaningful life possible. Becoz misunderstanding happn somtym and do miracles/ And ya most imp if u both want kids u shud adopt one.