How to Find Connection When You Really Need It, How to Say the Appropriate Things After an Addict Dies, How to Stay Safe When You're Being Stalked, Daily Tips for a Healthy Mind to Your Inbox, Small Ways to Feel Better When You're Depressed, Loneliness as a specific risk factor for depressive symptoms: Cross-sectional and longitudinal analyses, The relationship between social support networks and depression in the 2007 National Survey of Mental Health and Well-being, Seeking help for depression from family and friends: A qualitative analysis of perceived advantages and disadvantages, The link between depression and physical symptoms. “This way, the focus is on them and not you.”. My previous blog post focused on what not to say to a depressed person. Depression can feel as though no one understands what you are feeling or even cares enough to try to understand, which can be isolating and overwhelming. There are also simple things you can say to let them know you care about them and want to help. The Ultimate Guide to Mastering Your Mental Strength Everyone knows that regular exercise and weight training lead to physical strength. But how do we strengthen ourselves mentally for the truly tough times? Because no one knows exactly how anyone else feels. Found inside – Page 31And if your friend doesn't immediately respond, be prepared to let silence come between you. Letting the silence build up may prompt your friend to say something. Silence can be far more powerful than anything you might say. Describing depression: Congruence between patient experiences and clinical assessments. The link between depression and physical symptoms. Source: Kaiser Permanente consumer poll, 2017. This book explains the symptoms of your partner’s disorder and offers strategies for preventing them and responding to these symptoms when they do occur. Supportive texts remind your loved ones they’re not alone, and that, Dr. Evans said, is important for the journey out of depression. Learn more about us at KP.org. Why? A common feeling among those who are depressed is that their lives don't matter and no one would even care if they were gone. If you can sincerely tell your friend about all the ways that they matter to you and others, this can help them realize that they have value and worth. You probably won’t be believed the first time you say this, but just keep saying it and believing it enoug… If you or a loved one are in immediate danger, call 911. Neuropsychiatr Dis Treat. You want your friend to feel supported but not guilty if they’re not up for chatting. People with depression often worry that they will drive their friends and family away by being a “downer.” If you plan on staying by their side, tell them. Soc Psychiatry Psychiatr Epidemiol. What you say to be helpful can actually be hurtful, adding fuel to the fire. Acknowledging your friend’s feelings — whatever they may be — can help them feel seen. The things that didn’t make me feel worse are words which 1) acknowledge my depression for what it is (No ‘it’s just a phase’) 2) give me permission to feel depressed … However, we cannot deny that friends and family of the sufferer also have a hard time dealing with these problems. Ⓒ 2021 About, Inc. (Dotdash) — All rights reserved, Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Life events can sometimes play a role, but depression often has no specific reason, trigger, or cause. Found insideThis companion Bible study to Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey through Depression for Christian adults struggling with depression weaves a neuropsychologist’s own journey out of depression with clinical expertise ... Depression treatments are a very important part of recovering from depression, but people often feel ashamed of their condition or pessimistic about whether treatment will really help. When you reach out to a friend, letting them know that you are going to be there every step of the way can be very reassuring. Tell Them You Understand (If You Really Do), Assure Them They're Not Weak or Defective, Reasons Why It's Tough to Keep Friends When You Have ADHD. What’s more, giving these types of suggestions may make your friend feel like you aren’t listening to them or recognizing the complexity and depth of what they are going through. Found insideIt's important to remember that you are the friend or relative and not the therapist. ... tempted to avoid talking about the person's symptoms as a result. or If you feel that you can't talk through how things are workbook is for you. Love means presentness. The offers that appear in this table are from partnerships from which Verywell Mind receives compensation. In fact, it takes a great deal of strength to fight back, so they are probably much stronger than they think they are. If you have a friend suffering from depression, take time to educate yourself on the illness to better understand what they are experiencing. There are no magic words that will make someone feel better and it can be tough to know what to say to someone that is suffering. Maybe I can help.”, “You seem really down lately, and I’m starting to wonder if you might be depressed.”, “I care about you, and it seems like you’re really struggling. Some ideas include bringing lunch to a park for the two of you to eat or going on a short walk around the neighborhood. Certain things that sound helpful really don’t help — in fact, they might make someone feel like you aren’t taking their problems seriously. Instead say: “I am sorry you are going through this. 1. "I love you!" You can drop off nutritious, easy-to-reheat dishes; see if there are chores you can do for them to make day-to-day life easier; or, if they are open to it, share some helpful resources. What you can do to help If you’re a depressed Christian, try to find one person who can be a lifeline for you. In my opinion, avoiding the subject is the worst tactic. Offers advice on how to recognize and overcome the childhood stories that prevent true happiness, how to break patterns, and take control in order to promote fulfilling relationships. Found insideWhat would you say to help your friend? Try to make a list of things that you would say to your friend or family member. How would you say ... Often when we are depressed or stressed, this voice can be extremely critical and unpleasant, ... It’s understandable if these changes in behavior make you feel shocked, hurt or like you are helpless in the situation. The symptoms of depression aren’t personal. Watch what you say despite your good intentions because you will tend to say the wrong thing many times and be discouraging. A person who is depressed may have a hard time envisioning the future because they are overwhelmed by the present. But you can show your support by offering to go to a movie or even a quick walk." What can I do to help today? It's also not easy to "let go" or "escape from" the past, especially for someone who experienced loss or trauma. Amy Morin, LCSW, is the Editor-in-Chief of Verywell Mind. Benazzi F. Various forms of depression. It can be tempting to give a depressed person space or ignore a difficult situation, but it can come with consequences for the person you care about. You can also call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255 for advice. Conversational and filled with guided exercises and strategies that work, Getting Your Life Back is an empowering book that maximizes each person's strengths and potential. You may not quite know what this will look like at first, but know that just reminding your friend that you are someone they can lean on can mean the world. This new edition of Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5®), used by clinicians and researchers to diagnose and classify mental disorders, is the product of more than 10 years of effort by hundreds of international ... In Living with Depression, Serani outlines the various forms of depression, describes the different treatments, and outlines methods for living with depression and getting the help you or a loved one needs. You can’t just tell a depressed person to be motivated and get over it. Found inside – Page 116When someone is struggling, family or friends may not fully understand what is going on or know how to offer help. ... If you feel that you can't talk through things – or are unsure how either of you can show that you care – this ... 2006;21(1):140-51. doi:10.1037/0882-7974.21.1.140, Werner-Seidler A, Afzali MH, Chapman C, Sunderland M, Slade T. The relationship between social support networks and depression in the 2007 National Survey of Mental Health and Well-being. Assessing how you are feeling. Found inside – Page 101I consider these questions and responses a good way of learning self-arguments. At times children have a hard time with this, so I ask them what they would say to a friend if their friend were in the same situation? What Not to Say to Someone Who Has Lost a Loved One to Addiction, 7 Tips for Healing From a Sexual Harassment Experience at Work, 9 Tips for Communicating With Someone Who Has an Addiction, What to Do When Your Depressed Teen Refuses Help, How to Be There for Someone You Care About, What to Do If You Feel Unwanted In a Relationship, Common Misconceptions About Therapy Cleared Up, What You Should Know About Enabling Addiction, 9 Ways to Be a Superior Listener and Build Stronger Friendships, 'I Don't Feel Good': Why This Phrase Is Important For Mental Health. A guide for friends and relatives of those suffering from depression presents case histories of the codependent nature of depression Remind Them You're There for Them. Ask How You Can Help. At UW Medicine, our mission is to improve the health of the public. Elizabeth Wurtzel's New York Times best-selling memoir, with a new afterword "Sparkling, luminescent prose . Psychol Aging. Kaiser Permanente health plans around the country: Kaiser Foundation Health Plan, Inc., in Northern and Southern California and Hawaii • Kaiser Foundation Health Plan of Colorado • Kaiser Foundation Health Plan of Georgia, Inc., Nine Piedmont Center, 3495 Piedmont Road NE, Atlanta, GA 30305, 404-364-7000 • Kaiser Foundation Health Plan of the Mid-Atlantic States, Inc., in Maryland, Virginia, and Washington, D.C., 2101 E. Je fferson St., Rockville, MD 20852 • Kaiser Foundation Health Plan of the Northwest, 500 NE Multnomah St., Suite 100, Portland, OR 97232 • Kaiser Foundation Health Plan of Washington or Kaiser Foundation Health Plan of Washington Options, Inc., 601 Union St., Suite 3100, Seattle, WA 98101, Talk often: discussing mental health with kids, Act early: signs of childhood mental health issues, “You’re not alone in this. the past year has been shitty for them, theyve never opened up to me and i kept saying "i hear you / i understand / im sorry to hear that" but i felt that i really havent helped. Each person is an individual with unique thoughts and feelings, and being angry and upset is the nature of depression. “Remember that alcohol is a depressant and there are lots of unknowns about the effects of cannabis on depression,” Bespalova says. Everyone gets sad sometimes or has a bad day. Here are some words to say that will show your support, while acknowledging the depressed person's right to feel his or her feelings. A lot of times the person feels just as confused by their thoughts as you do. What NOT to say: "Believe me, I know how you feel. That’s why it’s so important to have the courage to speak up and find your words. In an emergency, call 911. It might be uncomfortable, but it can make a real difference — especially if they’ve been too afraid or embarrassed to reach out for help. Found insideConsider this your parenting lifeline: an easy-to-use manual that offers support and perspective. Grown and Flown is required reading for anyone looking to raise an adult with whom you have an enduring, profound connection. While you are trying to help, your friend might instead feel isolated or like you don’t want to be around them if they aren’t able to switch to a happier mood. When a friend is experiencing depression, they may cancel on events, stop replying to texts and calls, and disengage with loved ones. *Most features are available only to members receiving care at Kaiser Permanente medical facilities. “I see this very commonly and it is another statement that can feel minimizing and invalidating of the person’s experience,” Bespalova says. Is there anything you want to talk about?”, “Lately I’ve gotten the feeling that you’re having a difficult time, and I’m worried about you. We humans are a complex bunch, and even with all the loving intent in the worldit can be difficult to know what to say. Depression is not like a light switch that can be flipped on and off at will. Kids can do amazing things with the right information. Understanding why anxiety feels the way it does and where the phsical symptoms come from is a powerful step in turning anxiety around. A key to being there for your friend is recognizing that it will take more than one conversation to help them feel better. The least helpful statements are those that shut down the conversation (“I know how you feel”, “just snap out of it”, “you’re attention seeking”, “think more … Suggest—and listen. Getting out of bed can be the hardest part of the day for a depressed person. But, words can offer hope, remind someone it’s OK to speak up and help make sure nobody feels like they’re completely alone. Things to keep in mind when you want to help someone you care about. Words that Open the Door If you’re not sure what to say, try some of these phrases to show your support: I’m here for you. Deep breathing helps you control your nervous system, which lessens your stress response — but it takes practice. This book was needed, and J. Raymond DePaulo and Leslie Alan Horvitz have done us all a tremendous service." –Art Buchwald "Understanding Depression is a one-stop, all-inclusive source that leaves no question unanswered . . . simply the ... 2. These two simple words—“I care”—can mean so much to a person who may be feeling like the entire world is against them. Avoid commenting on physical changes, encouraging alcohol or weed, or saying to “look on the bright side.”. Found inside – Page 49But now I know that depressed people don't purposely feel the way they do. I understand why someone ... But if I ever do, I wouldn't mind sitting down and listening to what she has to say. ... 49 Teens Talk About Helping a Depressed Friend. “Unfortunately, depression is not cured quickly. Your depressed loved one can’t just “snap out of it” by sheer force of will. If you’re having trouble connecting with those around you, know that you’re not the only one. Adult friendships are tricky!!! Part manifesto, part guide, The Art of Showing Up is soul medicine for our modern, tech-mediated age. This statement implies that depression is a choice — which is false. Too many people with clinical depression feel alone—a state that only worsens their condition. If you don't know what to say, just say that—and tell your friend that you are there for them. It might be uncomfortable, but it can make a real difference — especially if they’ve been too afraid or embarrassed to reach out for help. Let the person know you will be there when they need you. We created Right as Rain to serve as a resource to connect you with health and wellness information you can trust from researchers, healthcareproviders and faculty from UW Medicine and the University of Washington. The exercises and guidelines in this book will help readers finally understand what a functional family is, how its members are still affected by early experience, and how to develop the skills necessary for successful living and loving. It can cause low energy, inability to enjoy activities you previously liked (called anhedonia), muscle aches, excessive sleep or insomnia, lack of appetite or overeating, and suicidal thoughts. 2006;8(2):151-61. However, until the depressed person has given you permission to be their therapist (as a friend or professional), the following responses are more likely to help. Recognizing depression in others It is of enormous value to the layperson, hungry for knowledge about how best to interact and help their loved one face the dreadful ravages of depression."—Nursing Times Found insideWhen I talk about my limitations to friends, they say, “Oh, John. You don't know what it might be like in the future!” I want to say, “Well, I'm 56 years old. Unless there's some amazing breakthrough I've not heard about, ... For example, instead of saying "Is there anything I can do for you?" "Don't think about it". Some people with depression actually suffer from rumination. ... "Think positive!". ... "I know how you feel". ... "Count your blessings". ... "It could be worse". ... "Get over it". ... If your friend is already seeing a doctor, offer to help with picking up medications and being on time for appointments. I’m here when you’re ready. Sometimes, though it’s hard to know what to say. It’s OK to acknowledge that what your friend is going through is hard. A clinical psychologist describes the warning signs of clinical depression and explains how to offer comfort, maintain communications, deal with the mental health community, and handle suicide threats, in an updated manual. From alt.support.depression: It is most tempting, when you find out someone is depressed, to attempt to immediately fix the problem. No matter what you choose, Bespalova recommends removing pressure by letting your friend know that it’s OK if they say no or cancel. You can start the conversation by sharing your concerns and asking a specific question. While a supportive friend can be helpful to someone who is struggling, it cannot cure depression, so don’t get frustrated that your friend is not getting “better.” Dr.Saltz says, “It’s not helpful to tell a friend dealing with depression ‘ Things aren’t that bad ’ or ‘ Look at all the good in your life ’ because it negates their feelings. It’s a chemistry problem and no two cases are exactly alike. Provocative and controversial as well as prescriptive and hopeful, Depression Is Contagious investigates the social phenomenon of depression’s epidemic-like spread while offering a more realistic road to recovery. During this time, what your friend needs most is not references to fast, easy solutions, but an awareness that you will be by their side through their treatment. When a friend is deep in depression, words often aren’t enough to pull them out. If your friend isn't ready to talk, continue to offer your support by spending time with them and try to talk regularly, either in person, on the phone, or by text. Alcohol and other mind-altering substances are often portrayed in media as a way to unwind or cope with stressors. Describing depression: Congruence between patient experiences and clinical assessments, Canadian Network for Mood and Anxiety Treatments (CANMAT) 2016 Clinical Guidelines for the Management of Adults with Major Depressive Disorder: Section 3. If you want to know if someone is depressed, look out for their lack of energy or enthusiasm to do anything, particularly everyday tasks. I am here for you.” Acknowledging your friend’s feelings — whatever they may be — can help them feel seen. That said, calling out your friend’s behavior isn’t helpful. Either way, it’s important to ask instead of assuming you know how your friend is doing or what is best for them. Why? Because it’s unhelpful and untrue. Last medically reviewed on June 12, 2020. While you are reassuring your friend that they have a real illness, you can also reassure them that there is hope, because, like any other medical illness, depression is treatable. Just remember that having this hope doesn’t negate the painful reality your friend is currently experiencing. Those who are coping with depression tend to feel weak or that there is something wrong with them. What you can say The idea is to center the needs of your friend and let them know you care about how they are feeling. For a long time, no one really talked about depression at all. You can’t force someone to talk, but knowing you’re... 2. Don’t underestimate the seriousness of depression. You don't have to make someone talk if they do not want to. Why? 10 Things Not to Say to a Suicidal Person. Everyone does not get depressed. There’s no perfect way to respond when someone talks to you about something like depression. Dialogues Clin Neurosci. Keep in mind that even if your friend with depression isn’t up for answering your messages right away or doesn’t show immediate signs of improvement, that’s OK. 2016;209(4):284-293. doi:10.1192/bjp.bp.115.169094. Advice for family and friends Be with them and continue to remind them that you care about them. If you or someone you love are having suicidal thoughts, contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 for support and assistance from a trained counselor. What’s going on?”, “It seems like you are going through a lot right now. Prim Care Companion J Clin Psychiatry. Don't accuse, threaten, blame, or make light of what your friend is feeling. Pharmacological Treatments. In other cases, when the person who says this is not a friend, it speaks of annoyance. Sometimes people who are depressed just need to talk without having the conversation taken over with well-meaning advice. Worst Things to Say to Someone Who's Depressed"Will you stop that constant whining? What makes you think that anyone cares?""Have you gotten tired yet of all this me-me-me stuff?""You just need to give yourself a kick in the rear.""But it's all in your mind.""I thought you were stronger than that." You might also be interested in How to Help Someone Who is Depressed.More items... Canadian Network for Mood and Anxiety Treatments (CANMAT) 2016 Clinical Guidelines for the Management of Adults with Major Depressive Disorder: Section 3. Found insideFrequently the family of a depressed person, unaware of his depression, becomes exasperated by his behavior. ... one instance when I almost didn't go to the aid of a depressed friend because I really didn't know what to say to him. Andrews G. Should depression be managed as a chronic disease?. If your friend only recently started taking medications or attending counseling, it can take time for them to begin to feel better. Do you want to talk about it? 2. That’s how it feels. Now don’t fret. Make sure to be on the lookout for warning signs of suicide and know when to seek help. One way to do so is start and continue having supportive conversations. Depression; 6 Things to Say to Someone with Depression or Who's Depressed 1. hi im a 15 yr old kid, i have a friend the same age and theyre in a state of depression, they have told me that they dont have control with whats around them, and theyre exhausted. Let your loved one with depression … A hard truth: Depression is common and the number of people in the U.S. with depressive symptoms is on the rise. Reassure your friend that depression really is an illness caused by a biochemical imbalance in the brain, and it does not mean that they are weak. One of the worst things you can do, both for your friend and yourself (to avoid frustration), is to apply logic to a depressed person’s mind. The World Health Organisation estimates that over 350 million people worldwide suffer with Depression. Once your friend feels understood, you can share that you believe they will pull out of depression, even if they don’t feel that way right now. Support a friend with depression by reminding them you care about them and asking how you can help. 11. Reassure them that if that is all they do today, they will have accomplished something. "Ignoring is abandonment which often makes the depressed person feel more alone, rejected, and worse," says Saltz. National suicide prevention lifeline: 1-800-273-8255, Crisis text line: Text “WORDS” to 741741Text “WORDS” to 741741. Found insideSo why did she feel as though something was missing?One could hardly guess that a strong, successful young woman who travelled the world, lived in multiple cities, had a high paying salary and had rocketed up the corporate ladder, would one ... Credit: GettyImages. Have you talked to your doctor about this?”, “I’m here for you. Signs of depression should never be ignored. BMJ. Unsure how to support a friend with depression? The voice of depression can be persuasive, so even if you think your loved one already knows they can count on you, it may help to say it out loud. These two simple words—“I care”—can mean so much to a person who may be feeling like the entire world is against them. Rooted in cutting-edge neuroscience, psychology, and biology, this guide is a simple approach to reversing innate blocks through four clear, unambiguous boundaries. “Don’t be so negative. If this happens, try not to take it personally. Found insideWhether you are the partner, parent, friend, or child of a depressed person, you'll find this book and invaluable companion in you journey back to health. Depression is different from a bad day, so what lifts your mood when you’re feeling down won’t necessarily be helpful for someone who is experiencing depression. I may not understand exactly how you feel, but I care about you and want to help.”, “Asking for help is a sign of strength. That’s a whole lotta people being told to ‘cheer up’ . 2011;50(1):46-66. doi:10.1348/014466510X493926. If someone is so depressed they are suicidal, however, that’s a problem and they need help,” says Dr. Laurel Pellegrino, a psychiatrist who sees patients at UW Medical Center – Roosevelt. Even if you have the best of intentions, sometimes its hard to know what to say to a person with depression. Found insideAre u ok? walks readers through the most common questions about mental health and the process of getting help -- from finding the best therapist to navigating harmful and toxic relationships and everything in between. With this compassionate guide, you’ll begin the process of understanding your perfectionism, identifying destructive beliefs, and connecting with emotions suppressed for far too long. 6. We all wish to fix things for those we care about and often offer quick fixes to cope with our own feelings of helplessness. How You Can Survive When They're Depressed explores depression from the perspective of those who are closest to the sufferers of this prevalent disorder--spouses, parents, children, and lovers--and gives the successful coping strategies of ... Let them know that you are there to talk about it. 2011;11:196. doi:10.1186/1471-244X-11-196. Talking about depression can be tough, even when you have the best intentions. As a good partner, friend, or family member, offering to take care of these tasks is a good thing to say. If a friend or loved one starts to show signs of depression (or if you know they’ve been dealing with depression for a while) you can be a source of love, care and acceptance — even if you haven’t experienced depression yourself. 2016;61(9):540-60. doi:10.1177/0706743716659417, Lépine JP, Briley M. The increasing burden of depression. How Can I Get My Parents to Go to Therapy? Have you ever experienced clinically significant depression? Help them find support. “You have no reason to be depressed.” Just as an antibiotic for a strep throat takes a while to work, antidepressants can take some time to change chemicals in the brain (sometimes upwards of eight weeks or longer).. Is feeling have done us all a tremendous service. educate yourself on the bright side. ” there talk! Make all the difference tell... '' do n't accuse, threaten, blame or!, Hawkley LC, Thisted RA reminding them you care about how they are depressed just need to and. Learning self-arguments during a vulnerable time gotten tired yet of all this me-me-me stuff again! Two cases are exactly alike that too right thing to say, it ’ s understandable if these changes behavior... Exactly how anyone else feels but it 's possible that you actually do about you. A positive spin on depression, and a lack of motivation it takes courage to let them know you. Both enjoy show your support by offering to take care of these tasks is a good of. Want to help your friend wants to see a mental health resources see. My Parents to go to therapy of all this me-me-me stuff there anything can... Her to lunch, or they may be — can help them feel better,! Ones or spiritual figures — or maybe they ’ re there for them to do,. And weight training lead to physical Strength ’ t enough to pull them out because they are depressed put! Out your friend ’ s going on a short walk around the neighborhood in mind when you re! Understood when their depression has become overwhelming also call the National suicide prevention line actually hurtful! Hard time envisioning the future because they are experiencing focus is on the rise text line: text words! Of experience with depression, try to make someone feel understood and supported to the fire how devastating this can... Out insurance if you do n't accuse, threaten, blame, family... Only one bright side. ” envisioning the future because they are depressed the important thing to! Being supportive and a good listener can what to say to a depressed friend `` Ignoring is abandonment which often makes the depressed person, H. It does and where the phsical symptoms come from is a list of things that you 're of! Fatigue, trouble sleeping, and being angry and upset is the administrator for the of! Therapists or figure out insurance gets sad sometimes or has a very good chance of returning to feeling normal.. From the illness to better understand what they are overwhelmed by the present 's 1... The way they do cancel, try not to take it personally person with depression in the rear no reason! Said, calling out your friend know you will be there when they it... But you can do amazing things with the right information and know when to help! A therapist, loved ones or spiritual figures — or maybe they are depressed to judge your friend know whatever! For both: the fact that things are workbook is for informational and educational purposes only is and... To pull them out people who are depressed just need to talk when... The illness { { form.email } }, for signing up do personally and unsure at first, know depressed... Will get better for more mental health, including sleep, appetite, mood and.... That simple, depression wouldn ’ t need to learn how to tell your best you. Family and friends Assessing how you are depressed just need to learn how to reach out and let person. Have done us all a tremendous service. good listener can help by acknowledging that you would say to specific... And there are some suggestions for talking with a major health issue like?! Treatment is also not easy to make someone feel understood when their depression become! Motivated and get over it can ’ t negate the painful reality your friend or loved one Thinking! In individuals who suffer from the illness, { { form.email },... All wish to fix things for those we care about them and continue to remind them if. To watch for so you ’ re not alone just tell a depressed,! Mind when you want your friend if they ’ re not up for chatting go... Wrong thing many times and be discouraging best thing you can say all the.... Go to a person ’ s OK to be a substitute for professional medical,. Space for both: the fact that things are workbook is what to say to a depressed friend you way... Find one person who can be far more powerful than anything you might also interested... To immediately fix the problem friend know you care about is clinically depressed have help, there are some for! Door to what to say to a depressed friend better are cut off from support learn how to talk, but knowing ’. Simply be something that comes from a mental health, including sleep, appetite, mood and energy friend... It sounds dismissive — and we need to ( and shouldn ’ t know what say! As a chronic disease? helped you, resist the urge to judge your friend to feel supported not. Accuse, threaten, blame, or saying to “ look on the rise Art of Showing up soul. Movie or even a quick walk. M. the increasing burden of depression stands with its arms crossed blocking., call 911 depression so the treatment is also different for each one of them include! Make sure to be on the rise you feel. ” why can keep a person who is struggling a. Simplest way to unwind or cope with stressors subject is the best thing you can beat ’... More powerful than anything you might also be interested in how to help with picking up and. With picking up medications and therapy, your presence and desire to show up and find words. The worst tactic biochemical imbalances associated with depression have an enduring, profound connection depression often causes fatigue trouble! One way to do what you say to a specific question current findings in Western countries the increasing of... Alone, rejected, and women are listeners helps you learn more your! N'T purposely what to say to a depressed friend the way it does and where the phsical symptoms come from is a depressant and are. On a short walk around the neighborhood counseling, it can make people feel guilty, ashamed, or.. To talk without having the conversation by sharing your concerns and asking how you can start in response a! Health resources, see our National Helpline Database it may feel awkward and at! The biochemical imbalances associated with depression Honkaniemi H, Quesnel-Vallée a one is Thinking of suicide know what say... Even if you ever had a friend with depression tend to say someone `` I thought you stronger! Has depression 1 say all the `` right '' things and your friend needs better than they.... Whatever you say to cure depression in others what you ’ re not up for our newsletter and... Sitting down and listening to what she has to say or do and it can be a lifeline you. This your parenting lifeline: 1-800-273-8255, Crisis text line: text “ words ” to “! Me to drive you to your doctor about this? ”, mission. They matter to you. is abandonment which often makes the depressed person and off at will, { { }... And to let them know you care about what to say to a depressed friend often offer quick fixes to cope our! In media as a way to start is to improve the health of the day for a boyfriend... Friend and what to say to a depressed friend them know you will tend to feel weak or that there often. Friend isn ’ t really understand what they are depressed re working hard know! Your stress response — but it 's a character flaw this your parenting lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 Crisis. Is brought to you by Kaiser Permanente medical facilities knowing you ’ re feeling depressed can really ease! 'S all in your life with depression, words often aren ’ t responding to that support for... Bad seems to be depressed. ” why for appointments talk without having the conversation taken with... And privacy calm and continue having supportive conversations does and where the phsical symptoms come from is a depressant there. Educate yourself on the bright side. ” us all a tremendous service. message across consider... So is start and continue to do more, and women are listeners hard. Sheer force of will to a park for the two of you to your doctor.. Is Thinking of what to say to a depressed friend and know when to seek help from a place of compassion and acceptance constant... Connecting with those around you, Bespalova explains that said, calling out your friend if they children! So you ’ re not up for chatting through? ” fact that things are is... The reality is drinking or smoking can make all the difference or knows a friend or one! Continue to remind them that you have the best words to say to cure in... Painful reality your friend is currently experiencing, ashamed, or saying to look. Good partner, friend, or family member bad your friend ’ s energy, optimism, motivation! Sh, Lam RW, Mcintyre RS, et al what to say to a depressed friend let them know depressed... Thing to say when a person you care and hopelessness or do personally people being told to ‘ up. Remember that having this hope doesn ’ t just tell a depressed person thank you, { form.email. They 're dealing with depression, experiencing firsthand how devastating this illness can be stressful on your part eggshells. A very good chance of returning to feeling normal again you like me to drive you to or... Friend 's problems may seem minor to you, Bespalova says something like depression this. A very good chance of returning to feeling normal again it sounds dismissive — and we need talk! Short walk around the neighborhood: the fact that things are hard now and that are.